Beautified Prison

     Being someone who's interested with almost everything yet doesn't have the attention span and patience to commit completely with it must be the insane part of being me. However, if there's something I love doing and probably won't stop doing— it will be about my hobby with reading. Thus, I can say, it played a humongous toll on my personality. 

     Way back my daycare years (I wasn't able to attend kindergarten) my mom would always make sure to keep my mind focused with the ABaKaDa materials posted on the walls of my room. I wasn't allowed to watch television until I finished reading the entire thing for the nth time. I have little to no exposure with my neighbors who are happily playing under the scorching sun. While I hear their shouts and laughters ringing in my ears, my silent pleas of wanting to go outside are kept sealed by my tiny voice who kept on reading the same materials all over again.

     By looking at it now, my hobby with reading may seem like a response with a "trauma". However, my young self treated it as a freeway ticket towards the world of literature. As I was enrolled at OLPC-C, I was fascinated by how "huge" the library was. There were books everywhere! Every shelf is waiting for me to touch; like how every page is waiting for me to flip. 

     During my year as a 2nd grader, our room was next to the School Library. While my classmates were busy with their C2 drinks and Dowee donuts, I was busy sneaking in between the shelves to keep myself away from my classmates' line of vision. At a young age I am afraid to get teased about being too nerdy. While it seems like my bookworm self took it to her heart, borrowing three books per week became a routine until 3rd Grade. However, this moment of mine quickly went downhill. As I accidentally lost a book. With how I retain my memory, it was a book of Dora the Explorer. Thus, of course my mom got furious. Yet, she still paid for it. 

     During 5th grade, my mom noticed how much I have been addicted to borrowing books from the library instead of reading my school textbooks that are only sitting next to me. Which led to her talking to the librarian that she shouldn't allow me to borrow books for the meantime. Indeed, it should be a moment for me to finally bond with my textbooks. But, my mind is elsewhere. I would always daydream of having to ask Maam Jona (our librarian) if there are new arrivals of "Alamat" or anything from Lampara Books. Thus, leading me towards the next big move that would change my life until this day forward.

     Downloading Wattpad was me being curious about what it is all about. At a young age, I was enticed by how convenient it is to read without having to go to the library. Although, I was a bit taken back by how the application is dominantly ruled by romance. Nonetheless, it lured me towards reading Filipino Fiction books making my "addiction" with reading worse. 

     With my years of using Wattpad, I discovered a new version of myself. My never-ending marathon of reading a series until dawn has brought me not only knowledge, but a bit of a problem. I developed anemia. But, looking at the bright side, my vocabulary and knowledge of playing with words broaden. Which made it easier for me to form such written related activities. 

     Of course there are downsides to my hobby. I often get distracted with my tasks during virtual online classes. Having my devices screen split; one for the google meet and one for Wattpad is on another level of commitment with a book. As time went by, the platform's community slowly turned toxic. Allowing me to discover BookTok or a particular hashtag in TikTok that allows content creators to talk about books. 

     Books here, books there. My hobby then took me towards the point of downloading epub or pdf versions of books I cannot afford physically. My word per minute also developed, making it basic for me to finish almost 25 books a month. Which includes Wattpad novels, soft copy versions of physical books (they're too expensive), and even physical books I ordered online. The pandemic and closed doors, hindering me from going to the nearest bookstore, tempted me to spontaneously order books. A pile of almost 30 books are now on top of my closet. Again, making my mom furious at how I spend my allowance given by my dad. If it wasn't for the Tropical Cyclone Ulysses drenching all my books and making everything closed to being unreadable— I won't be stopped from shopping. 

     During the present times, I still often find myself looking for the solace that only reading can give me. Everyday, I make sure to read at least 2-5 chapters of a book I am currently reading to ensure my mind won't only rely with academically inclined knowledge. Hence, my schedule can be busy, but never be too jammed for 3 books to finish a month.

     At the beginning, my fondness of reading can be caused by how strict my mom was. However, it was also because of her, that I found an escape out of the buzzing life I have right now. The future coming on my way may take away my time to read Wattpad. But, it will never take my will to keep on reading towards the feeling of satisfaction.